One of the amazing gifts of the hermit is he helps us heal desperation. His pure BEINGNESS increases one’s emotional bandwidth to be with all emotions and digest them, no matter what ‘ride’ your soul is currently on.
This would not be possible if we were out in the world immersed in distractions, identifying as ‘what we DO,’ and seeking external validation. These maneuvers can actually perpetuate desperation (and even depression & low self worth.)
It’s no secret for anyone who watched my journey last year that I was on an edgy ‘ride’…I embraced more chthonic, dark feminine energy. Some of you responded to it with awe and respect calling me ‘brave,’ others unsubscribed from my writings and were repelled, and a few of you showed compassion (thank you!).
What I’ve come to realize is that a ‘desperation ride’ is something a lot of women go on in their 40s! It’s our ego’s desperate attempt to hold on and feel ‘important’…
And in my humble opinion, desperation is an appropriate emotional response to a cultural narrative that says ‘only women who are married OR women who are successful career women get to be important, celebrated, cherished, and worth anything’
Yes…desperation, fear for survival, and shaky self worth are absolutely appropriate responses here IF we are buying into the (collective egoic) narrative…which means our ego will need to be boosted up!
Ego will try hard to make desperation ‘heroic.’ In my case it was through rebellion: I’m a tantric woman, I get to live an edgy life, I’m a powerful rebel! I’m more EMBODIED!
For other women the ego ‘hero’ story might look different- holding onto a man that doesn’t cherish her, mothering him/ begging him to propose, overfuntioning in a career, overgiving to people in her community who don’t even invest in her offerings or care about her well-being as a human being.
But the truth is egoic maintenance is draining. It’s more energizing and strengthening to be in approval of grief and compassion…to FEEL for the hurt woman underneath.
And yes, tantra DOES help…because it’s all about digesting emotions. But to try and use ‘tantra’ as an ego-identity is not helpful.
What is most alive in my system these days is to embrace what’s slow, gentle, & sensual. I’m less interested in tantra & fast radical paths of awakening as I am in simply invoking beauty as a spiritual path!
One way I’m currently doing that is by invoking archetypes! Archetypes are a mystical way to drop the ego and open to transpersonal energies!
To put it another way- archetypes help us play more as adults, and express more range of soul & creativity! 
This month my group MYTHOS is invoking the hermit archetype!
Hermit is helping me examine my past & own parts of my story that felt like crises, integrate them & frame them in a more positive, enlightened way.
MYTHOS is open to all, and you can come explore with us here: https://mythos.podia.com