Masculinity- from Triggering to Healing

‘The Lord,’ also known as ‘the Emperor’ in standard decks (and ‘this motherfucker again?’ in my mind), can actually be an amazing, transformative card to work with.

At first I hated seeing him. His mood felt cold, punishing, and heartless. His armor seemed overprotective, the look on his face stern. Taking him in I felt resistance…a sense that I was a victim to his patriarchal power. Memories of a rebellious youth flooded my mind.

This is how he will appear when you have an undeveloped or underdeveloped inner masculine.

What is the inner masculine? With a strong one you can set boundaries, you’ll have no problem saying no, and you’ll be able to stay present and grounded in life. You’ll have space to hold for yourself during intense emotions, you’ll trust yourself instead of follow the crowd, and you’ll be good at the skill of discernment, meaning you won’t project your inner stories/ mental constructs onto the outside world.

When I hadn’t cultivated these skills I would simply get frustrated with this card’s message: structure. Then I would project ‘structure’ onto the outer world (“ugh…the patriarchy, the hierarchies set up in society, the rich, the poor, capitalism, male privilege, etc.”)

When I started looking honestly at my inner masculine it became clear that structures were never outside of me. I actually saw that I lacked discipline, was horrible at boundaries, and often worried what others thought rather than trust myself. Structure is an inside job.

The Lord wasn’t trying to punish me, he was trying to help me learn to set boundaries & trust myself so I could discover real power. Real power is self-love that is so strong you don’t want anyone else’s life but your own, so strong that you discipline yourself for the long haul because you’re worth more than easy, short term gratification.

Interestingly I found out the antlers on his helmet symbolize this wild fiercely loyal power which can be traced back to Pan, an ancient Celtic deity who lived in the forests and mountains, roamed in a very free and uncivilized manner, and was worshipped as a lover of all beings and creatures. Some archaeologists have even traced Pan and his antlers back to Shiva meditating in the mountains of India.

This proves an interesting point about healthy masculine energy. At its best and most mature it doesn’t seek to control but simply to be present with. The firm boundaries it sets are loving. It does not dictate reality, but rather discerns reality.

Now when The Lord turns up in my readings I get a feeling that I’m being supported, and fiercely loved. He looks less like a cruel punisher and more like a wild man integrating with society, and taking a rest, willing to listen intently to a wild woman’s deepest fears/ worries. He can be present with all of me. He is an ally, friend, equal, wise elder, sage, teacher who is taking interest in me because he truly cares for my wellbeing.